The husband decided to take a death-defying tumble down a mountain while goat hunting last week and subsequently broke his ankle. He’ll need surgery later but in the meantime he has to wait for his ortho appointment with a compression boot on and some Motrin. Without getting too much into the minutiae of the situation, he’s laid up for awhile. Before that, Abby started first grade so my time has been spent either taking care of my 6 year old child or my 35 year old one. Because of that and trying to get us back into our school year routine, it’s been fairly hectic around here and leaves little room for writing, let alone thinking much.
Not that I’m complaining, mind you. The time spent has been fruitful and interesting and I now have our routine “down” enough that we can adjust as needed when things like broken bones crop up but enough structure so no one needs reminding of what needs to happen when.
With Sam heading back to work tomorrow, I’m back in the saddle, as it were. I have some rough drafts that need to be hammered out and polished clean but I wanted to take this opportunity to say I’ve gone no where, nor do I plan to do so.
Quite the contrary – I feel more energized now, not only because of the implementation of the routine but also because of this:
Peter Dinklage’s speech about pursuing his passions resonated strongly with me since I’m in that stage of my life where I’m consistently wondering what my place in the world is, if I’m good enough, or if it’s the “right” decision. There have been many bouts of existentialism of late and Mr. Dinklage’s words of encouragement could not have come at a better time. I’m blessed to be in a situation where I have a very supportive spouse and a good-natured kid that believe in me. I’d say I’m ahead of the bell-curve on achieving my goals with that kind of support system in my corner; my family is a Team of Awesome.
I have put in some applications to a couple of criminal justice related jobs I’m interested in because that’s my main wheelhouse/degree. I want to write full-time as a vocation but that doesn’t mean I can’t get a job in other areas of interest that will either contribute to my life experience and, subsequently, my writing sphere of knowledge. Unlike Mr. Dinklage, writing is something one can do almost anywhere whereas when presented with acting vs. data processing, he ditched data processing in pursuit of his passion for acting. And bravo to him for that! I owe my momma a huge thank you for urging me to pursue criminal justice when I was struggling with which major to choose.
I’m now in a position where I can be passionate about a fair number of things and my outlet for those many things that set my heart on fire happens to be writing. Now, to get a “paying” gig, which sounds a lot easier than it actually is. To do it, I need to break down the door of my own limitations/doubts/fears and stop asking for permission. Rather, I need to show future employers I’m ready rather than just telling them. I know I am – they don’t…yet.
Mr. Dinklage didn’t tell me anything I didn’t inherently know from experience but sometimes we forget these important lessons and need a reminder. Thank you, Peter, for reminding me that if I want something badly enough, I need to fight for it.